When it comes to sex and the desire for it, where do you fall on the Sex Drive Scale? Have you been told yours is too low or too high? Don’t panic - there is no right answer.
The urge to seek satisfaction of sexual needs is the textbook definition of sex drive. However, the frequency of sexual experiences does not necessarily equal satisfaction and met desire. So, how can a “normal” sex drive be defined? We don’t think it can be. If you’re satisfied with your sexual needs being met, then that is enough for you.
Whether you’d describe your body’s signals of sexual desire as high or low, if you and your partner aren’t on the same page, it can cause distress. Let’s take a deeper look at what drives our desires and how to stay in sexual harmony.
Is there a right answer?
As women, most of us have experienced shame around sex & sex drive. We’re supposed to enjoy sex but not too much, we’re supposed to be experienced but not too experienced, and we’re supposed to be sexy & in the mood all the time. This is frankly exhausting and is not one size fits all. So how do we navigate this? The answer is what works best for YOU. Sex drive is different for everyone and shouldn’t be measured the same way. There shouldn’t be shame one way or the other. In fact, there are many benefits to a healthy sex life.
What Gets in the Way?
It seems easy enough. If sex is great in so many ways, why do we hear of or experience so many issues along the way? The answer isn’t an easy one. Life can get complicated and so can our hormones.
The infamous estrogen is commonly discussed when it comes to women’s reproductive health and aging. Kicking in during puberty, it’s necessary for our sexual and reproductive development. Falling in line behind estrogen is progesterone which works to stabilize periods and supports pregnancy. Testosterone, which is commonly discussed in regard to men’s sexual health, takes a back burner to the previously mentioned female hormones. However, testosterone is a key player when it comes to fertility, menstruation, and sexual desire. Hormone levels decrease with age, but stress can take its toll as well.
Let’s not forget our monthly hormone fluctuations which definitely affect our desires. Mother Nature was working her magic when our cycles were created. Promoting reproduction, we often feel a boost in sex drive during ovulation. You may even feel more attracted to your partner during this time. As weird as it may seem, we often get a rush of these sexual feelings during our periods as well.
We’ve already touched on the go, go go, of our daily schedules. Unfortunately, our busy lifestyles can keep us from feeling in the mood. When we’ve got a million and one things to do each day, our sexual desires seem to take a backseat. When we do make the time but we’re feeling stressed or distracted, we end up not being present - which doesn’t make sex fun for anyone.
Though often necessary, prescription drugs can come with unwanted side effects. This can include interference with libido and the ability to reach orgasm. Even over-the-counter medications like allergy pills can have unexpected side effects. If you’re experiencing issues that may be related to your medications, it might be time to chat with your healthcare provider.
If you’re in a relationship or seeing someone consistently, it’s not uncommon to fall head over heels in the beginning and with time interest dwindles. Romance can fizzle with the stresses of life. Normal relationship disagreements can take their toll on the attraction we feel for our partners. When we’re frustrated with our other half, those butterfly feelings we had in the beginning just aren’t there.
Alive and Feeling the Drive
A number of factors can affect our desires, however, it is completely normal to maintain a high sex drive even when stress keeps us from feeling our best. As a matter of fact, sex can be an excellent stress management plan. Getting into the moment takes your mind off of your worries. The feel-good hormones, endorphins and oxytocin, help your body to relax and reduce anxiety.
Sometimes we just don’t feel having sex and that is okay too. There shouldn’t be judgment or shame around wanting or not wanting to have sex. Period. Whether you’re on day 1 of your period and feeling not great or you’re just too tired to participate, it is completely your choice whether you feel up for it or not.
Research shows that sexual satisfaction is directly linked to relationship satisfaction. Sex can act as a form of communication between you and your partner. Connecting sexually may help to offset some of those things they do to drive you crazy.
Go From Low to Give Me More
Whether you’re hoping to kick your sex drive into gear or want to keep your desire high, let’s explore some things that will have you wanting more. From managing stress to getting good rest, you can work to maintain the sex drive that is best for you.
Your daily activities can greatly affect your ready and willing feelings. A trip to the gym, a run through the park, or a great yoga flow are all excellent ways to reduce stress. Regular exercise helps you feel better and boosts confidence. Research shows that maintaining a fitness routine strengthens your core and pelvic floor, leading to more intense orgasms. Improve your sex drive with a steady workout plan.
Our daily to-do list keeps us going, going, going. Oftentimes when nightfall comes, we’re ready to watch our favorite shows or scroll. What we really need is better rest. Many times we turn to the screen because, even though we’re exhausted, we can’t seem to fall asleep. Instead of getting caught up with television drama or real-world issues that are sure to keep the mental chatter going, try a nighttime meditation or a deep breathing exercise. Regular sleep helps you feel better through the day and just might help to heighten your sex drive too.
What we put into our bodies greatly affects our overall well-being. Food can help or hurt our moods and physical condition. You’ve probably heard of aphrodisiacs to stimulate your sex drive. Oysters are commonly known to get you in the mood, but broccoli, strawberries, watermelon, and avocados are also great options, and more readily available. The best way to put these foods to use is to incorporate them regularly into your diet. A one-and-done approach is not going to do much to support your libido.
A trip to the doctor and a simple blood test can help you determine if your hormone levels could use a boost. While this may work as a quicker fix than making some other lifestyle changes, there are often side effects associated with these therapies. From unexpected spotting to increased hair growth, these reactions to medications may not be worth it in the long run.
In conjunction with some lifestyle changes, supporting your system with what Mother Nature has provided is an excellent route to finding hormonal balance. Pharmacist-formulated to support women, Aura Essentials natural supplements are backed by science and designed to empower you. With natural botanicals, you can live a healthier, more balanced life, and increase your sex drive.
Opinions, content, and any information expressed in this article are intended to be general in nature and do not constitute medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek medical advice from your professional healthcare provider.